My Eyes Are Dry
by SarissaDiablo
Summary: Cloud's eyes stay dry, even as his world falls apart around him. Wolfish Ways Series.


**After this story, there will be something different. I will be starting to put the dates, at least the months that these take place, just as much for my refrence as you peoples. :) I get confused way to easily. Also, every story is going to have its own personal playlist from now on. XD Thank you to Absentminded Dreamer for giving me the idea, and all the songs so I can make it possible! Ok, onto the story. Sorry, no yaoi this time, since it's pretty much only a description of how Cloud's life is going to hell in a handbasket. *sniff* I'm so mean to my main characters. :)**

* * *

**August 14th...**

Cloud stared up at the starry sky from his perch on top of the ShinRa Tower, arms wrapped tightly around his bent knees. He needed to escape from that house, and the memories it possessed.

Angeal had blown up on him, leaving the house a few days ago. Earlier that day, he and Zack had came and moved their things out, back into their apartment in the Tower. Now it was only him, Sephiroth, Vincent, and the two wolves. It seemed like a lot to share that house, but now that the two were gone, it seemed somehow empty. Genesis was still in the Tower, and they had only spoken that one time, on the mission that went to hell. Jenova was a comforting hum in the back of his mind, and even though he tried not to think about it, he kept coming back to the argument.

**lxlxlxlxl**

"_You asshole," Angeal growled, startling Cloud out of his thoughts, his hands stilling over the grilled cheese sandwich he was making. The two wolves had already vacated out to the back yard in the soft afternoon light, sensing the tension when Angeal walked into the room._

"_Excuse me?" he squeaked, looking over his shoulder at the burly, and very angry General. Angeal was standing there with his hands at his sides, clenched into fists._

"_You heard me. I called you an asshole. How can you stand there and act like nothing is wrong?" Angeal said harshly._

_Cloud only stood there, handle to the frying pan in one hand, spatula in the other, and said nothing. What else could he do but stand there like nothing was wrong, when nothing _was_ wrong? "Um, I didn't realize that sometin' was wrong." Angeal snorted, and it was then that Cloud noticed the dark circles under the mans eyes, and the gauntness to his face._

"_Angeal, what…" he started, and was cut off rudely._

"_So you call talking shit behind my back as nothing wrong?" the bigger man said angrily, walking around the island in the middle of the kitchen and invading the hell out of Cloud's personal space. Calmly, at least on the outside, Cloud turned to the stove, and turned it off, ignoring his now burnt food. He turned back, and looked up at Angeal, not intimidated in the least by the mans height or bigger build. He had been short and small his entire life. It was hard to intimidate him by sheer size._

"_I don't know what your talking about," he said, his voice cold and precise, without a trace of accent at all. Nowadays, that only happened when he was hiding his emotions utterly. Angeal knew this, and his eyes narrowed, hurt and acknowledgement flaring in them. If Cloud had shut down like that, then Angeal rationalized that he was hiding something, when in truth, he was only trying not to make the situation worse._

"_You bastard, how could you two do something like this?" Angeal asked, his voice soft and hurt. The words made Cloud blink, jaw dropping open slightly._

"_Wait, the two of us? Who else is part of this?" he asked, though he had a pretty clear idea as to who he was talking about. Angeal shot him a glare, and turned his back to him, taking a few steps away to the edge of the kitchen._

"_You and Sephiroth, who else?" he said bitterly, then laughed, though the sound that came out was hardly worthy of the word. It was a short huff, and Cloud was left feeling at a loss. What had he done? He stared, watching as Angeal's muscles clenched tighter and tighter at his continued silence, frantically racking his brain for something he had done, or said or…something._

"_I…" he began, starting to say 'I'm sorry', but the words stuck in his throat. He couldn't think of anything he or Sephiroth had done wrong, or said wrong. His stubbornness rose, and he couldn't, _wouldn't,_ apologize for something that he hadn't done. Instead, he changed what he was going to say, crossing his arms and taking a defense position, eyes narrowed._

"_I would like to know exactly what it was that I said, or did, that has you acting like this Angeal," he said shortly, making Angeal turn back to him. The man shoved his hands violently into his pockets, and Cloud suddenly took in the entire posture. His movements were jerky, completely unlike the normal, controlled movements he used. He just screamed pissed, and didn't trust himself not to lay hands on Cloud. What the fuck, Cloud thought, did I do?_

"_So you don't remember the night that you and Sephiroth fucked right there," he gestured to the spot in front of Cloud, making the blonde twitch in surprise. He hadn't known anyone but Vincent knew what had happened, and the movement changed everything. Angeal paused, agony and painful triumph shining in his eyes. _

"_Yea, I figured you'd remember," Angeal said, turning back and taking a step. Cloud reached out. _

"_Wait."_

_Angeal hesitated, and Cloud started speaking, wondering, what is happening to my life? "Wait. Why would what happened cause something like this? Is this about the oil?"_

_Cloud almost jumped back when the bigger man rounded on him, hands out of his pockets and clenched into fists. Violence pulsed around him, and for a long moment, Cloud honestly thought that Angeal was going to attack him. Truly attack him._

"_So you admit it," Angeal growled, voice so deep it sounded like an avalanche. For a moment, something red flashed in his eyes, and for one crazy second, Cloud was convinced that Jenova was somehow inside the man, egging him on. Then he felt her, enclosed in her steel prison, and decided that it must have been a reflection of his own eyes. He knew they were at least half red, something that happened when he was pissed whether he was bonded to Jenova or not. _

"_That we used it, yes, but I didn't think you would be this upset," he said calmly, refusing to take a step backwards when Angeal walked forward. He merely raised his head to keep eye contact, keeping his hands loose in case Angeal decided to take a swing at him. He still wasn't going to apologize._

"_I…" Angeal hissed, before something drained away from him, leaving him back to looking haggard and pale. "I heard everything I needed to hear." _

"_What," Cloud started, but Angeal turned, and was gone with a reverberating slam of the front door. He was gone in a speed fueled by emotion, and Cloud couldn't even follow the movement. He took a step anyway, reaching his right hand out slightly with a confused, hurt frown. He felt slightly faint, dizzy with what had just happened._

_From outside, where they had taken refuge, the two wolves walked back in, cautiously sniffing the air and looking around. Seeing only Cloud, they walked over to him, and almost automatically, he put out his right hand, eyes never leaving the front door. Jaz lowered her head, and Cloud broke his staring, turning to her and burying his face in the soft, sweet fur of her neck. She stood completely still as he breathed deeply in and out, his eyes closed and strangely without tears. He felt as though he should be crying, those soul deep, wrenching sobs that only come with utter heartbreak. But he couldn't do it. There was no point in crying over something that you knew would happen. He had become used to loosing the people he loved. _

_His grandmother at 3, his father at 6, who in a twisted way he had loved, and his grandfather at 7. The entire town had turned against him and his mother, so they were gone too. Then he got into the military, and started loosing people. People he had gone to the Academy with, people under his command. It was why he had taken the chances that he did, to become strong, to stop loosing anyone he got close to. It worked, and then, just when things were really looking up in his life, it all went to shit. He didn't know if it was because of Jenova, or if it was only because he himself had changed, but he had almost lost Sephiroth. Then Genesis was gone, and now Angeal. Where Angeal went, Zack would follow without a doubt. Yea, he was getting used to loosing people._

_He never noticed Vincent standing at the entrance to the stairs leading down, never knew that the man had been standing there the entire time. Never knew that he had seen the flash of red in Angeal's eyes, and never knew when he retreated, eyes sharp with anger and speculation._

**lxlxlxlxl**

Sighing softly, Cloud lowered his head, shoving the memory out of his mind for the time being. He just couldn't think about it anymore. If he did…he would probably throw himself off the roof.

_Even if you don't have Angeal, Zack, or Genesis anymore,_ Jenova said quietly in his mind, her voice a soothing purr. _You always have me, and Sephiroth. You can't forget Jaz and Ifrit, either._

That caused Cloud to smile slightly, as the two wolves yipped quietly in agreement from behind him. Sometimes, it was unnerving to know that his blade lady could communicate with the animals, and even worse that they were intelligent enough to respond. But only sometimes.

"What has happened to my life?" he asked quietly to the empty air, not really expecting an answer, and not getting one. Jenova was silent, and the only response he got was Jaz walking up to him, and putting her massive head next to him on the ledge. He unwrapped one arm and sunk his fingers into the thickness of her fur, closing his eyes and drawing on her unshakable faith in him. The two wolves were the only ones in his life that he could depend on utterly, besides Sephiroth. While he had been willing to put his trust in Vincent, he had drawn back from the man lately, putting distance between them. Zack was still friendly, but the strain on his friend was showing, trying to keep his relationship steady with Angeal, while trying to stay friends with the rest of them. He felt bad for Zack, even more then he felt for himself. His dark haired friend was stuck in the middle, and he had no clue how to fix it.

He unwrapped his other arm, and buried his fingers in his hair, clenching the blonde spikes tightly as he squeezed his eyes shut. He had no clue how to fix any of it.

He tensed, eyes flying open as achingly familiar arms wrapped around him, petal soft lips kissing his left hand, where it was buried in his hair. He relaxed slightly as Zack at down next to him, though he didn't uncurl from his position. Idly, he heard a soft, angry hiss from Jenova, before she fled. He frowned slightly, but was distracted from the disturbing behavior of the blade lady by Zack's words.

"Why didn't you apologize?" he asked quietly, and Cloud raised his head slightly, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Zack wasn't looking at him.

"I didn't do anything wrong," he replied, voice just as quiet. Zack sighed, and looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Cloud, you guys used the most expensive cooking oil on the Planet as lube. That shit cost almost 50 gil a bottle. The least you could do is apologize." Cloud said nothing once again, his stubbornness rising almost as quickly as the guilt. He still didn't understand how Angeal had known, but that was on the bottom of his list to figure out. He knew he probably should apologize, but Angeal didn't have to confront him like he did, and he said so. Zack shook his head, and let loose a deep sigh that showed just how frustrated he was with all of it.

"Ok, so neither one of you will apologize, neither one of you will get over your damn pride enough to do it," he growled, and then stood, brushing off his pants. "Fine. If that's the case, then I'm done with all of it. I came up here to get you to try and see reason, but you're just as bad as Ang'. Me and Genesis are going on an extended campaign in Wutai, and no one else is coming." Cloud stared up at him, mouth dry with fear and concern for his friend at the sudden statement. He tried to speak a few times, but nothing came out. Finally, he swallowed, getting enough moisture in his mouth to talk.

"For how long?" he asked, even though it wasn't the words he wanted to say. He wanted to scream, to yell at him that it would be suicide to go, that he was worried, that he shouldn't be going on this mission just to get away. But he couldn't say anything like that, because if he had the chance to leave like that, he would probably take the opportunity too.

"Six months at the least. Year and a half, at the most."

"But…"

"But what, Cloud?" Zack said harshly, looking down at him with blazing violet eyes. "I'm not going to stay here any longer stuck between all of you. I'm tired of always being the middle man. Your still willing to be my lover, but not my friend. Angeal is so caught up in whatever the fuck is wrong with him, that he forgets he has a boyfriend. I'm done Cloud. With all of it." He hopped nimbly off the ledge, and walked to the small hatch that was used for maintenance. Cloud was frozen in his position, staring blindly out into the glittering night of a Midgar summer. He was loosing someone else, and he wasn't even trying to keep him. Couldn't find it in himself to try.

"We leave in the morning, if you're interested," Zack said.

"I won't be there," Cloud whispered, knowing that Zack would hear it even with the slight wind this high up. He felt Zack pause, and the tears finally coated his lashes at the next words.

"I know." The hatch closed, and he was left empty, but strangely satisfied. He had known that he was going to loose everyone eventually, and end up alone. It was the story of his life.

He was two days shy of his 18th birthday.

**lxlxlxlxl**

Jenova cuddled herself in her steel prison, giggling quietly to herself so she didn't alarm Cloud. It had been sheer luck that she had felt Cloud sense her in Angeal, and was able to flee back to the sword before he knew it. Now Zack and Genesis were going very far away, where they would most likely die, and two more people would be permanently out of her blade Master's life. She hated how they made him feel. He was always insecure, usually accompanied by severe emotional pain. She really, really didn't like all the men in his life, they just caused him so much shit, which then transferred to her.

One moment, she was happily contemplating how she could somehow get Cloud away from Sephiroth, when something hard smacked her in the head. She tumbled through the marbled red and blue light that was inside her prison, head over heels. Before she could get her bearings, and get rid of the ringing in her head, someone had grabbed her hair in a strong grip, and forced her head up. She was suddenly confronted with eyes the color of a clear blue sky, and blazing with so much anger that she tried to draw back, except for the iron grip of her hair.

"Whaddaya think ya doin' ya bitch?" Cloud mother snarled at her, shaking her head back and forth, her other wrapped around a very solid looking frying pan. "Ya fuckin' up ma sons life ya are. Ya need ta quit with ya meddling shit, ya ken?" Jenova stared up at the blonde woman with fear widened eyes, mouth opening and closing like a beached fish. Elaine snarled, lips lifting back from her teeth, and she let go the instant the frying pan collided with the side of her face. Jenova fell to the ground, her world dizzy and terrified.

"I didn't…" she began, slurring the words, and screamed when the frying pan connected again, this time right between her shoulder blades.

"Don' tell me ya ain't been doin shit," Elaine growled, hefting the cast iron utensil threateningly. "I know what ya been up to dearie. Yer gonna stop that shit, or I'm gonna make ya." Jenova growled softly at the threat, glaring up at the older woman.

"You won't do a damn thing," she said quietly, and screamed again when she was hit in the head. Again. She cowered on the floor, holding her arms above her head protectively as she licked blood off her lips.

"Fine ya bitch! I've been fucking with him, and I'll stop doing it. Ya happy!?" she screamed at the woman, growling when Elaine nodded smartly, lowering the frying pan.

"Ya better, cause I'll be keeping an eye on ya, ya ken?" she hissed, and was gone, leaving Jenova to groan, and force herself into a sitting position. She helplessly sneered into the empty space of her prison, before smirking. She didn't have to do anything anymore. Cloud was doing it all on his own.

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**A/N: Cloud's b-day is the 16th of August, at least according to his profile. No one elses b-day is listed, so heres what I think:**

**Zack: Feburary 2nd - age: 19**

**Angeal: August 31st - age: 23**

**Sephiroth: October 30th - age: 22**

**Genesis: December 1st - age: 25**

**Vincent: ? I don't really know what to put for him, so anyone who reads it, first person to tell me his birthday gets a...um...hehe, a blow-up doll of Sephiroth. *evil grin* Life size. XD**

**This is all their ages currently, so Angeal will be turning 24 the end of the month, for example. I hope it makes things easier for all of us. :D**


End file.
